Rich people who can afford supercars are careful about which neighborhoods they take their cars out in. This week’s “guy-runs-over-Lamborghini” incident serves as a great reminder of how being rich sucks only slightly less than being poor.
If having a cool car attracts the wrong kind of attention, then gluing a horrible, awful, really bad body kit to your uncool car is about the dumbest thing you could do. Even if we know that to be the case, terrible body kits are much cheaper than Lamborghinis. Here are 10 examples of ground effects gone wrong.
- The Poor Man’s Porsche Supercar
Spotting a replica 356 on the road isn’t all that uncommon, and there are enough parallels between the undying Volkswagen Bug and the 356 that the reproduction makes good sense. There are zero parallels between the Bug and the ‘80s icon 959. This is one homely Bug conversion.
- E46 Civic
When Japanese body kit companies started offering Skyline GT-R ground effects for other brands, it was a stretch. A Civic and a BMW 3-series, however, haven’t got a single bodyline in common.
- Mercury Cougar R8
You have to give this guy credit for trying, but the weirdly upturned nose and tail don’t lend much credence to the R8’s would-be ground-hugging stance. Also, trying to disguise a front-engine car as a midengine car is a difficult trick.
- Mansory G63 Sahara Edition
Just because you pay a professional lots of money for it doesn’t mean your car looks good. Mansory will gladly take your money to ruin a perfectly good G63, and if you think the outside is bad, just wait until you see the leatherwork on the seats.
- Every Replica Rolls-Royce
Yes, there are lots of cushy town cars, like the Lincoln Towncar, for example, that maybe bear a slight resemblance to the slab-sided Rolls-Royce Phantom. It’s not a hard car to imitate in a basic sense — it’s a rectangle. Your rectangle doesn’t look like one made in Westhampnett, though.
- Chinese Enzo
We’ve all come across a Pontiac Fiero that’s had the old Ferrari treatment. This, however, is a new idea. The owner of one Chinese-made Geely Beauty Leopard managed to get the F1-style nose on this car pretty right. Unfortunately, everything else about it is so, so wrong.
- Dodge Stratus Gallardo
Stratus always struck us as a poor choice of name. It sounds so dynamic, for a car so underwhelming. The only good thing we can say about this “Stramborghini” is that it’s managed to add some definition to what was once the definitive jellybean car.
- The FierEnzo
Speaking of Fieros wearing body kits, not all Fiero conversions are created equal. Making a Fiero into a 308 makes sense, in the only way that creating a faux supercar really ever makes sense. Making a Fiero into an Enzo is a bad idea, and this is a bad idea, horribly executed. If you’re going to do it, at least have a professional do the installation for you and avoid being stuck with one these monstrosities.
- Suzuki Swift Replica Bugatti
Talk about rags to riches! This little Suzuki started from the bottom. Unfortunately, it may have discovered a new level of low because while it doesn’t resemble a Swift any longer, no one is mistaking this for a vehicle valued at $1 million.
- Replica Gumpert Apollo
How about building a replica of a car no one’s heard of? Then they won’t be able to tell you what you got wrong. We’ve got a feeling even the most uninitiated of car critics can recognize that something’s gone very wrong with this hideous creation.